Dealing with toxic parents has to be among the main reasons kids fall into depression. Toxic parenting may be as a result of them going through difficulties as well but this is not a justification for them to act in such a manner.
Kids raised in a toxic environment will constantly try to seek validation and do whatever it is to please the parents. They may develop self-hate and their self esteem is normally lowered due to the discouraging things the parents tell them from time to time. The parents would think the kids love and respect them when they do what the parents want them to do but in real sense, the kids only do this to prevent the harsh words and harassment.
There is a big difference between a kid respecting a parent and a kid being raised in fear. Such kids would always shy away from confiding in their parents whenever they are going through hard times since they already know what their parents’ response would be. They lack guidance as they rarely have one on one interactions with their parents which may lead them to making bad decisions which would affect them later in life.
The kids grow with bitterness and hate in their hearts for a long time and some plan on revenging for themselves when they get older. Some choose not to become parents in the future since they fear they might become like their parents. Others grow to be intentional parents since they now know better.
Parents should be their children’s safe space and number one cheerleader. Intentional parenting leads to children with better mental health and high self esteem. They should let the kids be who they want to be and not who the parents want them to be. Listening and learning children’s interests and letting them do what they love contributes a lot in making the child better in all aspects. It also strengthens the bond between parent and child.
Toxic parents will never accept that they are toxic since in their heart and mind they know that they are doing the best for their kids whereas the kids’ mental health and all proves otherwise. Parents should humble themselves and accept that they also do make mistakes and apologize to their kids as well .Parenting shouldn’t be dictatorial but it should be like a free and open friendship with your child.
Together we can make a difference and break this generational curse. Just because you were raised by toxic parents doesn’t mean you have to do the same with your kids.You now know better and you will do even much better.Being raised by toxic parents doesn’t define you as a person. You are more than enough, you are strong and you will always do amazing. Yes we love our parents and can’t change that since that’s already written in the books of history but we need our space from them. Get that job join that college move out and live your own independent toxic-free life . Sending you love and motivation .♡
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